My last blog made me feel empowered. But since then I feel like I've been anything but. My physical body is failing me more than the perception I have of myself will allow. Is this insecurity?
To get through this I know what I have to do - I have to work hard. But I also feel like I'm at my limit. I've worked hard for so long, when do I get a real, lengthy break?
I think before I try to start any new projects I need to regroup and refocus. What drives me? What drove me in the first place? I think it was my own image of myself - thinking you're the greatest may be cocky on the outside but can it not also help you rise to the challenge? Unfortunately, that motivation isn't good enough because for me it's entirely dependent on my physical body. And right now, that's not looking too good. I'm fat. My toe is jammed. My arm hurts from vaccinations. I need to get back in shape. But then what - what will always keep me motivated no matter what?
I guess that's two goals of the summer that come before anything else. Getting healthy and finding my motivation.
Innovating Life
~ASKalburgi