In a current conversation, a friend explained to me about an 'insecurity' of a mutual friend of ours. This insecurity of which I speak was also a negative phase I have been in, the quest for self-perfection.
Expectations are all around us whether or not we choose to care, and these expectations have perceived values. Often times we perceive the expectations others have for us and base our expectations of ourselves off of them ranking them for significance depending on how important the "expector" is to the "expected". Now apparently this anonymous mutual friend broke down at a party - drunk - and released some information of the pressure he is under about his own expectations. This clearly bothered my friend.
My argument for her is that expectations are an action plan for dreamers. Dreamers who day dream about life, about independence, about working life, starting a family - essentially being an authoritative adult member of society. I am one of these people. I could dream more about a future job than I could about a girl in my class for example. I told my friend that I think it's okay and to not worry about him, but I also expressed concern about his reflection tactics. Unfortunately, her description of his reflection tactics and mine are not very far off. Basically we do our best, and find our mistakes and make sure they never happen again. However her description (which I can only assume is quoted from him) went something like he finds his negative reflections and then stamps them out so that he is perfect.
I feel that I'm not as hard core as he is in his reflections. Should I be? Would it improve results?
I don't think so, I feel I have a positive motivation. I really want to do well in chemistry, but instead of studying as hard as possible and instead of being as hard on myself as possible, I'm trying to take up an interest in it. If I love Chemistry theory then marks as well as understanding will come to me.
Innovating Life
~ASKalburgi